Neglect

It’s been a long time since I added anything and I’m feeling a bit guilty about that.

There are a couple of reasons for my neglect the first being that in some respects nothing of significance has happened. As I understood it my first check using a cystscope should have been tree months after my final radiotherapy session in early November but so far that check hasn’t taken place. The second reason for neglecting this place has been that I didn’t want it to just be a day-by-day description of symptoms and worries.

In the last few weeks I have heard that a friend in Arizona is suffering from terminal lung cancer and has only a few months to live and so far I have not managed to talk to him which makes me so sad. A vigorous person with a busy life is now resigned to his approaching end and is taking it far better than I think I could.

Anyway back to my check up. Towards the end of February when I felt the check was several weeks overdue I started to chase it up. As you know, my opinion of the Christie hospital is that it is a superb place, head and shoulders above the rest of the NHS, and I think I wrote of my concerns that after the conclusion of my radiotherapy I would be returned to the “bog standard” NHS for my care. I didn’t even know for sure which hospital was now responsible so I rang Dr. W’s secretary to find that out. She said it was Mr R at Wythenshawe and agreed to contact his secretary on my behalf. After all, if a cock up had occuredI reckon two people inside the system can remedy that more easily without either getting defensive about it. She rang me back and told me all was in hand.

I gave it another ten days or sobut had still not heard anything from Wythenshawe so I rang Mr. R’s secretary myself. She said my check was due in May, six months after the end of treatment. I queried this as I am damned sure I was told that it should be carried out three months after the end of treatment and she assured me all was OK.

In a way I am relieved as I am not looking forward to this procedure but, on the other hand, I do want to know one way or another what the outcome from last year’s treatments has been.

This is especially true as I am still getting symptoms which may be long-term side effects of the punishing chemo and radiotherapies or may be an indication that the cancer is growing again. Most of the time I persuade myself that it’s the former but there is always a nagging doubt at the back of my mind especially this week when I had a really uncomfortable flare-up of painful urination, a very sensitive penis and I was constantly so damned tired.

It’s passing now, thank goodness, so my confidence is rising again but a couple of days ago I was pretty frightened as all the old symptoms seemed to be returning.

Anyway to end on a positive note Spring appears to have arrived and some warm sunshine will cheer everybody up after the coldest Winter for about thirty years.